super duper fast update

Mom has taken a turn for the worse! She has only eaten an apple sauce in two and a half days after throwing up for hours on Friday. She is barely drinking enough to keep going. She is beginning to be stubborn and has not let us take her to the hospital.

She is as little as it gets. Please pray for strength and hope. Also, please pray for her pain to leave her and that she will somehow become hydrated. We are all very concerned.

There's much more...but just needed prayers asap!!!!

LOVE!!!!

Awakening

Dress down your pretty faith. Give me something real.

Leave out the thee and thou and speak to me now.

Speak to my pain and confusion.

Speak through my fears and my pride.

Speak to the part of me that knows I'm something deep down inside.

I know that I am not perfect, but compare me to most,

in a world of hurt and a world of anger I think I'm holding my own.

And I know you said there is more to life.

And I know I am not satisfied.

But there are mornings I wake up and I'm just thankful to be alive.

I've known now, for quite awhile, that I am not whole.

I've remembered the body and the mind,

But dissected my soul.

Now something inside is awakening,

Like a dream I once had and forgot.

And it's something I'm scared of

And something I don't want to stop.

And I woke up this morning and realized that Jesus is not a portrait,

Where stained glass windows or hymns or the tradition that surrounds us.

And I thought it would be hard to believe in

But it's not hard at all.

To believe I've sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

And He's not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom

He's asking to take my place.

To stand in the gap that I have formed

With His real, and His sweet, and His real amazing grace.

And it's not just a sign or a sacrament.

It's not just a metaphor for love.

The blood is real and it's not just a symbol of your faith.

So leave out the thee and thou and speak now.

-Sara Groves

You can fall at any level

"I will be to you whatever you need to accomplish My will"

I have been reading The Final Quest- thanks Bethany for sharing that with months and months ago! It's really interesting. It's about a spiritual battle: actual war between good and evil. The metaphors that the author uses amaze me. 

Particularly, I think it's important to learn, "when you think you are the least vulnerable to falling is in fact when you are the most vulnerable. Most men fall immediately after a great victory".

I think the main reason for falling is that we insist of having control when we can power through our victories. We must remember that it is necessary to fight for humility at all costs. It's not ever us...it's always Him anyway. If it is us, He knows our motives.

Update: my mom is having a hard time. Please pray for her strength, mentally and emotionally, and physically. Chemo takes an enormous toll on your body and mind in every way. I'm not complaining too much though, it could be the miracle drug. I say drug, but my sweet mom is on three, which is unusual and challenging.

As far as my health issues are going- My pain is getting better from my cysts and the other scare, must just have been a scare, because I haven't heard otherwise. 

I'm thankful for my friends and of course, my boyfriend. I really have been blessed these lasts months with a family of people that I never have experienced before. Mostly, I am going through the transition of graduating and many new and exciting things coming my way(we all do). I have faith that the Father will be to me, whatever it is I need during it all(this is a promise to all of us). He knows my heart and He's not going to let me go. His love is everything.  I need to grow in loving Him. Don't let anything make you believe that His grace and love is not sufficient. It is and always will be.