It's a lot, right?

Since my mom has begun chemo, we have had no results on her progress. She is flying out to MD Anderson this week for tests and results. Please pray that the chemotherapy has and continues to perform miracles!!!! We are hoping that the chemo shrinks and limits her cancer enough, so that she can have the only procedure that has the potential to cure her.

Talking to her today blessed my life in immeasurable ways! She is incredible. I really can't imagine life without her. A part of me does not want the answers, so it's a good thing I don't have them!

"Call on me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"

-Jeremiah 33:3

On my side of things, medically, emotionally and physically, I am still at my limit. I just want to be accepted where I am, but doesn't everyone? I have really been learning and growing a lot in every aspect of my life. It's frustrating at times because I feel like my faith could be pursued more, because we can all give more and more to the man upstairs.  I begin to think in that way and I tend realize it's because of guilt and shame, not conviction. Conviction is sweet. It is clear and rewarding. Don't get me wrong, I have lots I could repent about and mistakes that have been made. Thank God for grace and for the Truth I have gained through my mistakes. Jesus died so that all of these loads can be lifted off my heavy heart. It's time to start believing that.

I have faith in a God that delivers. 

I also have fears. I question how much I am really giving to the Father when I fear the uncertainty of my future. He has really taught me to just let it go and then actually really let it go. GIVE IT TO HIM. How can he deliver, when I have a grip on it all so tightly? Yes, He promises, but what is it that we are asking Him to promise? Are we even asking?

Health update: My test results have come back indicating further medical procedures. It'd be amazing if you all could say a little something something for me too. I'd like to think it's all a fluke at the doc's office. 

Oh and one of my best friends had a ct scan because all of her blood work is off, so her too. We could all use a little more prayer.