What I can't stand about myself, is that often I believe I take advantage of His grace. Then, I realize that the only way that could be true is if Satan has a stronghold over me: guilt.
Jesus came to take me away from the pain of guilt. Guilt is not of the Lord. Holiness is of the Lord. The power of the Holy Spirit comes and warns you of evil and then even when you fall, He says, "I'm here to catch you. Let me love you." I pray to be like this, like Christ.
For the past six years, I have learned that there is no where I can run to escape the pain of tragedy or of my sins. I am still haunted by those memories because things trigger the past daily. Every second, I could slip into darkness, and I do more than I want to, but I also know that every second I will praise His name for ALL that He has done in my little bitty life.
I will never be satisfied by this world, or with people(at least not all the time, we all know I love me some human interaction) and that has to be why I can't find the comfort that I long for, because I am looking in a world that cannot offer me the grace and love of God. I must look up.
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." -1 John 4:4
I have an unbelievable amount of peace from just being alone with Him. I cannot imagine life right now without Him granting me His ways.
I promise this to you: if there is one thing I wish and pray all human beings would understand is that you must lose control and know that you are not in control. You must give it to Him, because He has it anyway. There is nothing you can do or say to change life or death matters, or sometimes how people act or feel when they make decisions that hurt you and themselves. We would all live a life of peace if we really would just surrender our burdens to him-to let go and really mean it. We would all be free! Give them to him and he will satisfy. I have had so much joy through these times because I try my best to let him have it because I sure know I don't want the responsibility of what I'm going through. Who knows where I would be, or what I would do.
Don't get me wrong, it's a constant sacrifice, but it's so good. I don't want to imagine my mind without letting go.
I pray this for us all right now(it's an idea from a little something I read, I am not but I know I AM):
"I am not, but God knows my name.
I am not, but He has pursued me in His love.
I am not, but I know the Creator of the universe."
It's all His anyway.
1 comment:
one of my favorite verses that rings so true about having PEACE is Isaiah 26:3-4:
YOU will keep in PERFECT PEACE him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the LORD, THE LORD is the ROCK ETERNAL!"
It's so hard sometimes to let our worries, our doubts, and our fears go, laying them at His feet. But when we finally do, His PERFECT PEACE flows like a river, because we know that He's got total control of what we are going through, and His will and purposes will be accomplished. Praying for that Perfect Peace for you, dear sister.
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