We're not doing well.

This is the hardest thing to go through. I've seen my dad wither away in front of my eyes and now my mother. I don't say that out of bitterness, but out of concern. I know the effects of these images all too well. 

 I don't want to remember my mom like this, as a dying cancer patient. I want to remember who she really was, what she really looked like, and share her final days with quality time together. I don't want to remember her days of dying, like I do with my dad, but I suppose that it comes along with being here for the two that brought me into this world. I am grateful to have been able to share time with mom, but please pray that these haunting images are not the ones that stay with me forever. I want to remember the woman that was my mother, my closest friend.

Last night, my mom was completely out of it and has no idea what was going on. She is beyond overwhelmed, as you can imagine. Watching her struggle is like being in a nightmare, but I can't wake up. There are no words to explain the emotional challenges of this time. There is no way that I could even try to explain what she looks like, acts like, or the images that I will have of what cancer has done to her sweet mind and body. I am absolutely heartbroken.

I know you all are praying and I can't tell you enough times how thankful I am. Please please please keep praying. I know our Heavenly Father will prevail through all of this darkness. I know He is faithful and good. I just wish that the evilness of this world and enemy would give us just one day of rest, as the Kingdom of God shines so brightly that all these unbearable emotions would turn into love, peace, fellowship and hope.