Promised Hope: Restoration

I don't know why God allows more pain that I can take sometimes. I wrestle with the same questions we all do: Why did a child die? Handicaps? Mental Illness?Why do some have so much and others have so little? Why are people starving? Why is there cancer? Heart disease? Why does God allow all of this?

A friend of shared this thought: If God didn't allow all these things to happen, then there would be no true love in this world. We wouldn't choose to love him. We would be robots that were made to love him and that would not benefit God, our Creator.

He longs for true love, just like the rest of us. He wants us to choose Him. If that is not a relational God, I don't know what is.

We live in a fallen world.

God allows the choices to be made; the sin to happen. No matter how much I prayed for Mom to be healed, she was not healed. I ask you- how/why not? I believed in my prayer, like the farmers were told to believe in the rain for their crops. When things kept progressing and my mom's cancer was taking her life, I lost hope in my prayers. Sometimes, I wondered/wonder: do my prayers really matter? If they did, then why are there many unanswered? Well, the cliche answer is, "God has a plan for you, much greater than your own".

Let me tell you- I did not have a plan for myself. However, I did not imagine a plan on being a twenty-something year old orphan. I did not plan on going to stranger's houses for dinners or holidays, just so I wouldn't be alone in my grief.

I have hope in two things: 1. HEAVEN 2. Restoration of my soul.

Heaven seems far away, when I allow myself to let it be. I have to discipline myself to remember how close to has seemed in my life at various points and CLING to those tastes.

Today, I watched one of the NOOMA films by Rob Bell, titled "Matthew". I deemed it appropriate for my life because of the summary. I will share the line that got me to purchase it: :"What might help us, however, is to understand how Jesus dealt with this kind of loss".

Relationships are the key to moving forward. Even though, I don't know Rob Bell, it certainly was nice to have someone who understood the depth of loss, speaking truth and hope into my life.

This changed my day and hopefully, my future:

"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,

you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up"

-Psalm 71