Hearing Pictures, Seeing Sounds.

About four and half years ago, my dad passed away. I've been meeting a few people my age lately that are/have gone through a death. I just want to hug them for a long long time.

A book could be written, but that's not here. I want to touch on some things though.

There have been several questions raised about losing a loved one to me recently: what if they aren't/weren't a Christian? "Once saved, always saved"?  With a couple of questions that are never asked or wrongly answered, they could be deceived into thinking there is no God.

Recent conversations about loss:

A high school friend.

A college friend.

One of my friend's mom was murdered this past year.

Another's dad is battling cancer.

A sweet girl lost her little brother.

And then a mom who passed away from cancer, believing that god would heal her.

That's some tough stuff. 

Right here, in Auburn people are hurting. Really really badly. 

What I'm trying to say is I understand that it would be amazing to go to Romania or Africa and hold orphans and show them what it is to be loved, but we could also acknowledge that those around us everyday are suffering. They are confused. They, too are abandoned. We are all broken in the same fallen world. Somehow, we miss the love and peace of god in the midst of all this and I just don't know how.

Why aren't the Christians in Auburn supporting each other? Why is it that we can't appreciate people who are like us?  We all want to experience different cultures, with different people and that somehow we brainwash ourselves into this high that those places and souls will be able to teach us more about Christ than people here.

People are people. 

My mom didn't tell me this until a few weeks ago, but I'm so glad she did. When my dad was in a coma, we had to drive about an hour and half to go see him everyday at the hospital for four and half months. My mom was teaching, my brother was in New York trying to finish his senior year of college, and I was trying to graduate high school. Again, a lot was going on.

Anyway, then the angel part comes into play. My mom didn't tell me this because the days were so intense, you forget what you think is the small stuff. My mom was on her way to work one morning and had to pick up my high school pictures for the yearbook deadline and met a lady at the photography studio. She had spoken with her previously about our situation with my dad and how money was really tight. A week later my mom got a check in the mail from this lady and her friends. They collected money for my family, so that we could pay our bills for the month. That is Jesus. Another day, my mom got stuck in the mud on the way to work and a group of men pushed her out. And there he was again.

Food was also an issue. We didn't have the time to go to the store or make dinner. Instead, people that I had never seen in my life were bringing us food. 

This is the kingdom. How come we don't know our neighbors? Why don't we help in time of need?

No need is greater or less than any other. If a family loses a child, or a child is starving, they are both in pain. Where are we in all of this?

We have to fight to love others especially those who look like us.  Some of us, fight to love ourselves. We aren't going to get what Christ has for this world if we keep thinking he has more only for you or for me. How did his message get so distorted? How did it become about me? He died for me and you. It's time we die to ourselves. Our relationship with Christ will not expand if we keep wanting from him for ourselves and not wanting for others. We are selfish with our faith. We don't have to be. I know we will always struggle with it, but everyday is new, and everyday we can choose who we will serve. Will it be what we want? Because, honestly, I think what we really want is him: the healer, the lover, and forgiver.