He's the man.

I've had so much "fighting for good" on my mind lately. Mostly, dreams and passions of mine. It seems like they go on pause a lot. I have a tendency to live in the moment and I'm not great at looking into what I could be doing for my future. It's exciting to know that in December I will be able to go! I don't have a next step. I have steps from here on out that I want to run sprinting up them like when I was a kid. Ok, so I'm still a kid.

I really want to go to Romania. I haven't stopped thinking about Romania since I was a sophomore in an HDFS class. I learned a lot about the culture there, but mostly about the orphanages. I listened to a woman speak, Sister Schubert, just a few months ago and she said that when she got off the plane in Romania, "it was as if everything turned to black and white". The color and life was gone. I have to go. I can't wait to go. God wants me there.

Also, I want to see the world. I know some people would be fine to stay on a farm or a big house and have a family, or stay wherever is comfortable to them and that's perfectly wonderful for them and God blesses that, but I really just want to get out there! I have this longing in my heart to meet all sorts of people and see that we are all the same. I want to learn their lifestyle, whether that's in Auburn or Japan.I love people so freakin much. We are all so beautiful. 

I'm not saying to ever abandon your family and friends, but I am saying that God gives us all very specific passions to fulfill a purpose in his work and right now, it's hard for me to imagine settling, when I haven't decided something to settle on.

I want to feed the homeless and hang out with them.

I want to take kids out that don't have enough money to go to a movie or have tcby.

I want to dance and sing like a complete crazy woman all the time.

I want to be a flower child for a little while.

I want to hang out with the most successful people in the world and learn what it is they see in life and see that they have the most amazing Creator challenging them daily.

I don't want it to be a moral issue: what I do, or don't do. I want it to be Christ teaching me who he is putting together in me. Who he wants me to be. What he wants me to do. It's all about Him-  learning who I am, "self discovery" is actually him revealing his purpose for my life.

I mess up a lot in the process, but I'm open until he closes the door. I may open the wrong door again, but his grace and mercy is new every second. I am here and I want to be ready.

I need God. I miss God too often. He is always with me, but he is not always praised and I want to learn how to worship him every single second. We all worship something. What do we spend most of our time trying to do? Trying be? Who are we trying to please? Trying to learn? Loving? It's all worship. 

 As Louise Giglio put it, "it's not what you do, but who you do it for".

I have faith that I could be anywhere or be with anyone and that I or we, could fight for Christ's love all over the earth. It's ongoing worship of who he is. If you accept him into your life, he equips you and there is no fear in the love of Christ.