Friday night, what?

Well, here I am staying in on a Friday night with Buckley by my side. I can't help, but feel the anxiety that I have felt for years. I was unloading the dishwasher and pulled out my mom's mixing bowl to put away and I just thought of how many times I was in the kitchen with her while we baked together. Mostly, around Christmas time. I tried to envision her hands on the bowl with mine. Then, I tried to imagine her face, but could not remember it exactly. I can only see the face in the hospital bed...the haunting one. I see her delicate little body with her bones sticking out from not eating for months and color loss of her usually, vibrant face.